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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29018319">spill this heart of mine</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellawritess/pseuds/bellawritess'>bellawritess</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>All Time Low (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alcohol, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Drinking, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, M/M, New Girl (TV 2011) References, i didnt mean to have that many and then it just happened, like so many new girl references i'm actually sorry, lots of, wine to be specific, yes theyre in college. yes they get wine drunk. move on</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 13:34:04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,271</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29018319</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellawritess/pseuds/bellawritess</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“You’re,” Alex begins, then licks his lips and takes a swig of his wine. “You have some Jess-like qualities. I will admit.” Jack cheers. “Number one being hair color. Number two being you are both smoking hot.”</p><p>The phrase is on his mind because of the show, but Jack just whoops again. “Well, if you’re Nick, then you’re smoking hot too, Al.”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jack Barakat/Alex Gaskarth</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>spill this heart of mine</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hello welcome to more of my bullshit spur of the moment writing. here's a jalex college housemates au because who doesn't want a college housemates au huh??? huh???????? exactly</p><p>shoutout to paige for the initial inspiration to write this and to paige, sam, and meghna for enabling me :) maybe fall out boy knew something when they said you're just the last of the real ones. also shoutout to peyton for being the alex to my jack and the nick to my jess love you &lt;3</p><p>this fic contains a higher than average amount of references to new girl. yes i am sorry about that but not that sorry because new girl slaps ANYWAY the episode in question is 2x15 ("Cooler") in case anyone was wondering. and if you know you know</p><p>TW FOR DRINKINGGGG although the warnings are in the tags and it's literally in the summary so if you opened this anyway i feel like at this point there's not a lot more i can do to stop you. read at your own risk</p><p>title from cheap wine by the vamps</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s Friday night, Zack and Rian are out with friends, and the house is quiet.</p><p>Too quiet.</p><p>Alex is tired of the quiet. He’s itching for something to do, or maybe just someone to do something with. And there’s only one person in the house.</p><p>“Hello?”</p><p>“Are you busy?”</p><p>“Uh…no? You know I’m literally upstairs, right?”</p><p>“I know,” Alex says. “Wanna watch <em> New Girl </em> with me?”</p><p>Jack laughs through the phone. “You like the worst shows, dude.”</p><p>“Shut up, I’m bored, okay?” Alex whines. “I wanna get drunk and watch a bad sitcom, Jack, and I can’t do it alone.”</p><p>“You should’ve led with the getting drunk thing,” Jack says. “Be down in a sec.”</p><p>Alex grins. He can always count on Jack.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They break open a bottle of wine, because they’re very fancy high-society boys with elevated taste and they can’t figure out where Rian has hidden all the good booze. In keeping with the fancy, high-society theme, they drink out of red solo cups.</p><p>Alex is on his second watch-through, and he’s up to the tenth episode of season two — the product of many sporadic boredom-induced binges similar to this one — but when he offers to start from the beginning, Jack just shakes his head.</p><p>“I’m not watching for the plot,” he says airily, swallowing down almost his entire cup of wine. Alex decides to do the same. He actually likes wine, even though as a college student he should probably be more of a vodka guy. It’s not that he doesn’t like vodka, but wine tastes a little nicer. And it feels classier.</p><p>Between the two of them, Alex thinks they’ve pretty much reinvented <em> classy</em>.</p><p>“What are you watching for, then?” Alex asks. He shifts closer to Jack on their ratty sofa and leans over him to grab the remote, to Jack’s offended protest. “Eye candy?”</p><p>“Because I’m a good, loyal friend to you,” Jack says, sounding fake-hurt that Alex wouldn’t immediately assume that. “Bitch.”</p><p>Alex laughs and turns on the TV. He pulls up Netflix and hits play on the next episode, then reaches for the wine and uncorks it. “Top up?”</p><p>“Don’t mind if I do,” Jack says, holding out his cup, and Alex pours obligingly. Wine glasses wouldn’t have been good for this job, anyway; these cups hold way more. He fills up Jack’s and then his own and then sets the wine bottle back on the floor.</p><p>“Clink,” he says, holding out his cup. Jack taps the brims together. He’s smiling like he doesn’t want to be but can’t help it. He smiles like that a lot around Alex. </p><p>“Seriously, though,” Alex tells him. “Zooey Deschanel is hot.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They’re on their fifth episode, and Alex is, to put it delicately, fucking wasted. It helps that they’d paused to go open another bottle of wine about half an hour ago — a bottle which is now half-empty. Maybe they should slow down. If Rian were here, he would probably tell them to slow down. He would probably confiscate the bottle.</p><p>Or maybe he would just get drunk with them. Rian’s a buzzkill sometimes, but he’s not boring.</p><p>And anyway, Rian’s <em> not </em> here.</p><p>“This is us,” Jack says, pointing at the TV. His voice is a little too loud. “That’s me, I’m — Jess. You’re Nick.”</p><p>“What? I’m not Nick.”</p><p>“You’re so fucking Nick, dude!”</p><p>“I am not! Nick is like…” Alex stretches his face to make it as grumpy as it’ll go. “He’s like, crotchety old fucker. He’s cynical and stuff. I’m nice.”</p><p>“Nick is nice,” Jack argues. “He’s just also, like. You can <em> see </em> him overthinking it. The counting thing? The tongue thing? He’s thinking way too hard.”</p><p>Alex shakes his head and zones a little bit back into the episode. That had been several minutes ago already. He hadn’t really realized the show was still going, but now they’re back on Nick and Jess, and as Jess demands to be kissed, Alex rolls his eyes. “You just want to be Jess so you can be a pretty girl.”</p><p>“I’m already a pretty girl,” Jack says, leaning hard against Alex’s shoulder. “Come <em> on, </em>I’m totally right. I’m right.”</p><p>“You’re,” Alex begins, then licks his lips and takes a swig of his wine. “You have some Jess-like qualities. I will admit.” Jack cheers. “Number one being hair color. Number two being you are both smoking hot.”</p><p>The phrase is on his mind because of the show, but Jack just whoops again. “Well, if you’re Nick, then you’re smoking hot too, Al.”</p><p>“I would be,” Alex corrects, grinning too big. “If I took a shower. Grooming. Or whatever it is she said.”</p><p>“You’re like, post-shower Nick,” Jack decides. “You’re already there.”</p><p>“You think I’m smoking hot?” </p><p>It’s supposed to come out like a joke, but Alex is pretty sure it doesn’t. It just comes out like a question he wants an answer to.</p><p>Jack doesn’t even hesitate. “Of course I do,” he says, patting Alex’s knee. </p><p>His hand lingers, fingers curling around Alex’s thigh, and Alex can’t help but sense a similarity in this situation and the one they’ve been watching unfold. Nick and Jess had almost kissed. They’re drunk, and Alex and Jack are drunk, and Alex wonders if the muted tension from Jack’s hand on his leg had been present for Nick and Jess. If that had been him in Nick’s shoes, he’d have gone in for the kiss.</p><p>Jess has a boyfriend. Jack doesn’t.</p><p>So what the fuck is stopping him?</p><p>Except for a hundred million reasons that he’s pretty sure he’s managed to come up with every <em> other </em> time he’s wanted to kiss Jack. Those reasons are very unfortunately eluding him right now. He’s definitely too drunk.</p><p>He finishes the wine in his cup and pours himself some more.</p><p>“Christ, Alex,” Jack says. “Sure you don’t want some water or something?”</p><p>Alex blinks. “Huh?”</p><p>“You’re drinking like it’s the end of the world.”</p><p>“I said I wanna get drunk and binge-watch <em> New Girl,</em>” Alex says defensively. “And I am currently: drunk and binge-watching <em> New Girl. </em> What are you, the booze police?”</p><p>Jack shrugs. “Alright, man, I’m not judging or anything.” He drains his cup and holds it out for a refill, which Alex dutifully provides. “Gotta catch up.”</p><p>“We are going to go through so much wine,” Alex says solemnly. “This is probably why Rian hid all the good shit.”</p><p>“I’m going to teach that bitch a lesson about sharing is caring,” Jack announces. In his abrupt excitement, he smacks Alex’s leg.</p><p>Alex snickers. “In this house, we are <em> comrades. </em> This is a fucking communist household.”</p><p>“A communist fucking household, Rian!” Jack shouts. Alex laughs. “Rian, can you hear me? Hey, Rian, you piece of fucking shit, come back and show us where you put the vodka!”</p><p>“We don’t care that it’s your vodka!” Alex joins in. They’re louder than the TV and if they keep it up the neighbors are probably going to complain, but whatever. Fuck the neighbors. </p><p>“It’s all for one and one for all, Rian! Our household follows the <em> High School Musical </em> Doctrine!”</p><p>“The —” Alex breaks down laughing, burying his face in Jack’s shoulder. The <em> High School Musical </em>Doctrine is somehow the funniest thing on this fucking planet. Jack is also laughing now, and together they drown out <em> New Girl </em> for a good couple of minutes with their hysterics.</p><p>“Fuck,” Alex wheezes finally, once he’s mostly caught his breath. “Holy shit. That was fucking hilarious.”</p><p>“Thank you, thank you,” Jack says. “I think there are tears in my actual eyes. Like, literally tears.”</p><p>“Look at me.” Alex grabs his face and peers intently at it. “Yup. Tears. Wow. You laughed, you cried, it was better than <em> Cats.</em>”</p><p>“Alex, nobody in the fucking world knows what that fucking expression means,” Jack says, rolling his eyes. But the shine of his eyes is coming from something more than just the tears of laughter. It’s in his wide-open smile, too, this one totally unrestrained, Alex’s favorite. </p><p>“You have an incredible smile,” he tells Jack, and that only makes Jack smile bigger. They’re too drunk for their faces to be this close. The blush on Jack’s face could be from the wine or the laughter, but it could be from something else. It might be. If there’s a blush on Alex’s face, it’s from something else.</p><p>“Same to you,” Jack says, poking Alex’s cheek. “Like I said, smoking hot.”</p><p>“Jack,” Alex says, “you gotta stop hitting on me unless you’re gonna do something about it.”</p><p>Too fucking drunk. </p><p>Jack’s smile flickers. That had been the wrong thing to say. Alex should try and do damage control. He should take it back. He should laugh it off. He should smile like he’s joking.</p><p>But. He isn’t.</p><p>“For the record, you hit on me first,” Jack says. Under the total nonchalance of his tone there’s something Alex can’t quite put his finger on. If he were sober he could name it, but his mind is a mess of senses and in the background Nick is pulling Jess into one of the greatest kisses in recorded television history and the only thing in the world right now is the look on Jack’s face and the three inches of space between his lips and Alex’s.</p><p>Alex suddenly remembers reason number one why he’s never kissed Jack.</p><p>“We live together,” he says with difficulty, dropping his hand to his lap.</p><p>Jack stares at him. “True.”</p><p>“We shouldn’t —” Alex can’t even really bring himself to say it. He desperately, desperately wants to, but they shouldn’t. “Right?”</p><p>“Right,” Jack says, like he doesn’t believe it at all. “We shouldn’t.”</p><p> And without hesitation, he kisses Alex, and the dam breaks.</p><p>Shit, and Jack is a <em> good </em>kisser. Jack kisses with intention, like it’s a personal challenge he’s been issued. It’s messy and tastes overwhelmingly of red wine, both direct results of their alcoholic endeavors, but above all, it’s fucking amazing. On a scale of one to ten, this kiss is a hundred right off the bat, with ninety points from the buildup. </p><p>Except that Alex only has one hand free, because the other one is holding a half-full cup of wine, and it’s greatly hindering his desire to touch Jack. He pulls away and for a moment he’s paralyzed by Jack, just Jack, a decidedly darker flush painting his cheeks and that glittering look in his eyes.</p><p>“What?” Jack asks, spurring Alex back into action. “That was okay, right?”</p><p>“Just —” Alex leans over and sets his cup on the floor next to the wine bottle, and then takes Jack’s cup and does the same. “Okay. Yes. Sorry.”</p><p>Jack grins. “This is a bad idea, isn’t it?”</p><p>“Such a bad idea,” Alex murmurs, leaning in again. Jack meets him in the middle, wrapping an arm around Alex’s shoulders and crowding into him wherever he can. </p><p>It probably is a bad idea. Definitely is. Especially if it sputters out and dies. But even if it doesn’t — it’s never a great idea to make out with your friend. And housemate. So many things could go wrong.</p><p><em> But they could also go really right, </em> a small voice in Alex’s ear points out. It’s either the angel or the devil on his shoulder, but he’s got no clue which. <em> And wouldn’t that make it worth the risk? </em></p><p>Jack’s hand curls around Alex’s right knee and Alex goes willingly, shifting so his legs settle over Jack’s, feet hooked around Jack’s calf. His mouth is slick under Alex’s tongue; his skin is warm beneath Alex’s fingertips. </p><p>The quiet refrain of <em> bad idea, bad idea, bad idea </em> fades into nothingness as they break apart. And if that’s just because Alex is deliberately suppressing it, then so much the better.</p><p>Jack is breathing kind of hard. “It’s not just because I’m drunk,” he says. Alex’s fuzzy brain takes a moment to catch up. </p><p>“What, this?”</p><p>“Yeah. In case you were gonna ask.”</p><p>“It’s not just because I’m drunk either,” Alex says.</p><p>“Oh. Good.”</p><p>“Good.”</p><p>“We should do this again when we’re not drunk, in that case,” says Jack, eyelashes fluttering when he blinks. His breath smells like alcohol. </p><p>“Okay. Yeah.” Alex nods slowly. “We should. For sure.” He hesitates. “Not…not, like, uh, I’m — is that, is this a feelings thing? For you?”</p><p>Jack looks apprehensively at Alex. “Is it for you?”</p><p>It would have been nice for Jack to just answer first, but Alex figures if they’re already in this deep he might as well submerge himself. “Yeah. For me it is.”</p><p>And apparently that’s the right thing to say. A smile splits Jack’s face. “For me too,” he says. His gaze flits to the TV, where the next episode has begun to play automatically. “Are they gonna figure it out?”</p><p>“Nick and Jess?”</p><p>“It’s not looking good,” Jack deadpans. “I gotta be honest, Alex, it is not looking good for those two.”</p><p>“They’ll figure it out,” Alex says, dismissively waving a hand. “They’re the, like, soulmates or whatever. They’re The Couple. The whole dumb show is just an excuse to get them together. Trust me.”</p><p>Jack hums. He pulls his arm away from Alex but drops both hands instead to Alex’s knee, drumming mindlessly against his jeans, and says, “You think real life is ever like that too? Like, everything working towards just getting two people together? You think anyone’s meant to be like that?”</p><p>Spark, meet dynamite. Alex stares at Jack and feels his chest cave in, a colossal explosion to clear away the decrepit old architecture and make room for something new.</p><p>“Yeah,” he says. “Sometimes.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thanks for joining me lol i'm on tumblr <a href="http://clumsyclifford.tumblr.com/">@clumsyclifford</a> if you wanna come say hello !! and if ya liked it don't be shy leave a comment they make me smile and who doesn't want that!! unless you're mean or idk maybe you're in a rush or whatever i don't know your life. okay i'm done rambling have a lovely rest of your day/evening/it's 3am right now where i am so who's really to say</p></blockquote></div></div>
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